Want to learn how to listen effectively? Shelley's article is full of great advice and links to other sources!

I believe that the down fall to communication is the inability to listen effectively. Have you ever had the experience of talking to someone and when you finish, they ask you a question that should have already been clearly answered? In the end it leaves us feeling as if we have just wasted our time. Then we end up spending more time repeating what we have already said when we could have used that time to further discuss the topic.

Do You Want to Impress Others? Then Don’t Talk…Listen – Article by Della Menechella

www.dellamenechella.com/do_you_want_to_impress_others.htm

Della Menechella states: “Listening is an underappreciated aspect of communication. When you carefully listen to others, you impress them in ways that talking can never accomplish”.

In Della’s article she points out that it is important to show an interest in what others are talking about and to focus on others rather than ourselves. By “listening” we are showing that we have respect and appreciation for what other people have to say.

Good Communication Starts With Listening – Article by Nancy Foster

www.mediate.com/articles/foster2.cfm

In Nancy’s Article she states “To be a good listener, we must, first, pay attention”.

To show that we are listening we can use brief responses to let the speaker know that we are listening and are interested. Also the way that we use our body language is a form of nonverbal communication and a way for the speaker to tell if you are interested or paying attention.

The most important fact I feel that Nancy points out is the difference between knowing when to speak and when to just be quiet and listen. I personally liked this article.

Now Pay Attention: Here’s why you need good listening skills- Article by Dawn Rosenberg McKay

http://careerplanning.about.com/cs/miscskills/a/listening_skill.htm

Dawns article states – “Hearing is a physical ability while listening is a skill” and “Listening skills allow one to make sense of and understand what another person is saying”. The article includes some reasons as to why we should attain good listening skills in the workplace, also how to listen well, barriers to listening and how listening starts at an early age. To poses the skill of listening begins at an early age and with some effort it can improve throughout our lives. The ability to listen doesn’t come as easy to some as it might to others. There are steps that can be taken to learn the skills that can help us be effective listeners. It won’t be until we come to the realization that we lack these skills that we will actually try to change our ways.

It is very important to have good listening skills when it comes to so many of our career choices. If a Doctor or police officer doesn’t have very good listening skills how will they ever be able to respond to our needs in the correct way? Listening is an extremely important factor in the process of communication.

An important listening skill that I have come across the most would be acknowledgement. To show a speaker that we are “listening” and paying attention not only verbally but nonverbally as well shows that we care. I think that even though we might not be interested in what someone is talking about that it is common courtesy to listen. Who knows we just might learn a thing or two and walk away more knowledgeable then we were before.

Shelley Young

Listening Perception by Therese Padgett

Perception is an interesting word. As speakers we always need to know how we are "perceived" by the listener. In this article, we understand that even the act of listening is perceived as hearing by some and truly understanding (or understanding better) by others. Therese shares:

Well the first point seems kind of self explanatory but maybe that is deceiving, we spend 70-80% of our waking hours in communication, so if you become a good listener you will get more out of each conversation and convey a good attitude to the speaker, you will earn the respect of the speaker and this respect will be returned to you when it is your turn to be the speaker.(1)

Always concentrate on the speaker so you can respond in kind. (1) Make sure your non verbal cues tell the speaker you are open and willing to listen, your eyes focused on the speaker, sitting slightly forward in your chair and arms and legs in an open and relaxed position. Ask pertinent questions, interject appropriate questions. (2) All important points, maybe not so self explanatory, huh?

Most all sources say the most important is to be an active listener. As a result we are able to give verification or feedback and is what distinguishes effective listening and makes it so effective.(2) Most all sources agree that if you are just going to parrot the facts back at the speaker it is not an effective conversation. Know when to turn off the active listening so when you respond it will be your message you get across. (2)

All sources I found said eye contact and empathy are very important principles of active listening. (3)

Sources:

1. www.more-for-small-business.com/1html

2. www.study9s.net/listening.htm

3. www.drnadig.com/listening.htm

“We were given two ears but only one mouth, because listening is twice as hard as talking."

Hearing is not the same as listening, as many of my clients and students point out. Understanding this concept is the start of understanding others. Here are a few thoughts from my students.

We listen to obtain information, understand, enjoyment and to learn. Without good listening skills we can miss out on very important information. When talking with your boss, clients and co-workers if you do not have good listening skills than you can not do a good job.

Thoughts move about four times faster than speech so be a good listener we need to hear correctly and precisely to understand this information and reflect it back upon the speaker.

“We were given two ears but only one mouth, because listening is twice as hard as talking."

This quote came from Larry Alan Nadig, Ph.D. He believes that active/reflective listening is the most important form of listening. This is when as a listener you repeat important information or respond to the speaker to verify that you have heard and understood what was said. This is agreed upon by many professionals as the most important form of listening.

I received information from:

www.studygs.net/listening.htm

www.drnadig.com/listening.htm

www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm


Ken Nyberg

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